after yesterday’s announcement the same questions keep popping up. we recognize the questions come from a place of love and concern for our family so we thought we’d address them. but first, i realize our announcement was kind of vague, but there isn’t a template for this and we do our best. to be clear, zelda will be an older sister. her birth mom, nia, is pregnant. the baby will live in dallas with nia and zelda’s brother.
1. the first question that keeps coming up is more of a concern. what about zelda? she’ll now be the middle child and the only one adopted. yes, this is true, but we always suspected that nia would have more kids based on her age and that she would do what most of us do – find that right person and decide to start a family. that’s what she has done. we will address any concerns or questions zelda has as they come. right now we meet her where she is at and that is with shared excitement of her becoming a big sister.
2. what do you (zach and i) think about the pregnancy? honestly, we couldn’t be more thrilled. since we always anticipated that zelda would have at least one other sibling through her birth family, the timing is great. zelda is at that age where a lot of her friends are experiencing the birth of a sibling. it gives her something to relate to. yes, her experience will be different from theirs, but her sibling experience already is in that her brother and her do not live together, but that doesn’t diminish the love or connection (but maybe we get less of the bickering, for now anyways). this time we have anticipating the arrival of the baby will still be very special and zelda is as excited as can be about becoming a big sister.
3. will the new baby really be part of your family? of course. zelda’s brother and birth mom and their entire family are as much a part of our family as anyone can be. the same will be true for the new baby. we will be involved, keep in touch, share pictures, visit, whatever needs to be done. we have a responsibility as parents to ensure that these siblings feel connected and know they are family. the best way for us to do that is just to be one big family. sure each parent has his or her role with each child, but what family doesn’t have parental roles? you know the saying – it takes a village. also, this may not be what others envision or expect in terms of family, but for us, it’s all zach and i have known since becoming parents and it’s all zelda has known since being born so we’re good. it’s our normal.
our family works for us. we are braving our own path, doing what feels right and raising some beautiful children to be the best they can be surrounded by love. oh these kids are loved by so many and the new baby will be too. plus i get to make baby clothes again, this time with zelda’s help. i can’t wait!