as i explained when i gave notice, i’ve lost my spark for the work and i’m burnt out on it. i’ve worked hard at my career for the past 8.5 years and my job is something that’s hard to leave at the office or switch off just because i’m not technically working. living with other peoples problems for that long has started to take a toll. also, i don’t want to continue to work in the particular job to the point that i don’t want to return to the work i do (mental disability law) in the future because i genuinely love it, but right now i need a break from it.
while i am good at doing what i do, what i do may not be good for me. i like helping people, but perhaps i need to look for another way to do so. i think i’m more interested in a holistic approach to life than a divided or compartmentalized one. i find integrating my legal practice into my life as a whole nearly impossible and i have a hard time separating myself from work. quite honestly, even when we win and we’ve had some surprising ones lately, i feel like the battle is never ending and i often have to fight the same battles repeatedly. as i said i love the work, but in order to do it well i need to give 100% and right now my supplies are depleted and i need to step away.
this wasn’t a decision arrived at lightly, quickly or easily. instead i agonized over it, consulted outside sources and really weighed all my options. now that its been made and its out there i feel so much better, like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders.
after i finish these pesky finals and we return from our trip to new orleans (we’re so excited!), i’ll be wrapping up some loose ends at the office and then the time will have come to concentrate on being the best mama/wife and family member/friend for the next while. so join me (and zach and zelda) in waving in this new adventure and phase of our lives. i’m sure lots of it will play out here and i’m excited to see what happens.